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 It's been awhile. Things are okay, I suppose. I have an amazing boyfriend whom I love dearly. I am continuing on with my art and writings, modeling too.

Lately,I've been harsh on myself about my weight and body. I am looking to change it, actually. I want to lose around 10 pounds and get my thighs smaller. I hate the size of them, they repulse me ._. Don't like the size of my hips and waist either, both can be smaller. I want to waist train, and lose at least 3 inches off both measurements. It'd be nice.


Pics from Aural Vampire concert

Mostly an outfit posting, lol. XD

Aural Vampire and I <3

A friend and I <3

PicsCollapse )So yeah...

All done <3

Concert going

So last night I attend a concert. It featured Aural Vampire, Dommion ( I think it's how that's spelled), Black Veiled Brides, and Birthday Massacre.  There was supposed to be a Mini Lolita meet up before hand, but nobody was there, so , lol XD Apparently everyone was running late. When I got there the entire group that was waiting to get in was a bunch of teeny boppers v.v;; I am only 20,but man did I feel old, lol XD Apparently it was an all ages show,but still.

They all gawked at me because I was in head to toe in white. I'll post pics later, but still.XD  I've only heard of Aural Vampire and Birthday Massacre. I only came for Aural Vampire really,but hey..XD I had a sneaking feeling that all these kids were here for a Screamo band, and alas, my suscipion was right.

Aural Vampire put on amazing show! Exo-Chika was really cute and curteous to me and my gaggles of friends  <3 I even took a pic with her and Ravemen and she complemented my outfit -squee-

Anywho, after that was said and done with, we had to deal with the other two bands. Dommion was quite good,having a Goth Rock vibe which I can dig, but then...

THEM. The girls screamed for them before they were even on there. Lawdy. I've just experienced such....Fan-Girlism in real life, lol. That, and the band really sucked. They were hot though, so I guess that's where the excitement comes in.



Writer's Block: How old is too old?

Are you ever too old to go trick-or-treating? Is candy for everyone?

My opinion is as long as you go all out in the costume department, then you are entitled to candy. Yeah, I go Trick or treating still,but I wear pretty costumes. I hate seeing teenagers and kids in hoodies trying to get candy..but if they're in costume, it's fine.


Oh how articulate I am. -.-;;;

Anywho, here comes another bitch fest. I like those. They relieve tension..or um...something like it. See, I told you I was articulate. As you can see, I like talking to myself. Or with myself.  I  like the sound of my voice, or rather the way my words read? That doesn't make any sense.

As you  can tell, I am QUITE bored. I am rather miffed. No. Not miffed -PISSED- at the desktop computer. I miss my laptop. I am on my mum's laptop while she sleeps. I am such a good daughter..Not. -.-;;;

I mean, I try.But that's besides the point I am making now. I should stop while I am ahead, for things could be listening...>_>;;; Like Dinosaur computer. Perhaps it won't hear me because I am  not talking .I don't think it's got weird senses that tingle when I talk bad about it.

Anywho, EVERY time I try to Gimp out some of my art it goes to Blue Screen of DEATHHHHHHHH...-sigh- Yeah, I really need my laptop back. I will get it back..and I'll be so happy.

So happy I could just DIE~

This would be my reaction shot. Ka-ping

I hate overbearing mothers

 I have a friend who's 21. She had somewhat done a shoot with me. She was dressed in her usual manner-she likens herself to a Dandy. She's not bisexual, or lesbian or anything.She's completely into dudes, but that's just the way she dresses.

Anywho, so we did a shoot with her dressed like that, and me dressed in my usual Gothic finery. You know, a lord and a lady thing. Not a girl on girl thing. Just a classy EGL shoot almost.

Anywho, the mother bitched because she didn't like how the friend was portrayed as the "guy" -.-;;; Like it was insinuating she was my man or something WTF?! We were posing as friends, nothing else.

Now, my friend is telling me the photographer can't go near the house because the mother is going to bitch him out. It wasn't his choice,i twas Jessi's.

Jessi is 21. She can decide for herself. Just because a girl likes to dress like a dandy and pose like a dandy doesn't mean she's dating me. >:/ Nor does it give you a right to want to bitch at someone who really didn't do anything.

Enuff said


This Statement pisses me off

Being a virgin in this day and age is something to be proud of. It’s sort of like being a unicorn.

It's implying that just because someone has sex, or say, is raped that they lose any semblance of being meaningful in society.

So you're a virgin. You're probably a virgin because A) You can't get any or B) Religious Reasons. While, I'll certainly honor your right to remain a virgin for Religious reasons, I will not stand by and say my worth is diminished because I happen to have sex.

What you do in the bedroom, or don't do the bedroom isn't a sum of your parts. It's only one aspect of it. Putting such a high stake on your virginity is demeaning you. It's not the only thing you can offer the world. What about your talents? Don't they offer anything? Don't they make you something rare?

That's what I thought. I am not saying that people should sleep around-believe you me, I live in the US, and I've seen my share of Teen Moms..Worse, yet, I live in Mississippi, where the girls seem to be too dumb to use a damn condom or birth control..BUUUUT, that's another rant for another time.

Just don't let anybody tell you you're worthless just because you have sex,because that's not true.



46: Reflection

Paranoia found n beauty in his own reflection. His eyes were too big, mismatched and hallowed. His skin a pasty kind of pale-Not a graceful, glowing kind f pale. He was too tall and gangly. His hair too dark and matted no matter what he did. Next to Jubei, he was a fiend.


Paranoia lay awkwardly besides Jubei, arms crossed his bare chest. Even post coitius, Jubei was a beautiful sight. His hair didn’t’ become lanky and limp with sweat as his did. Instead, it hung around his face becomingly.

Jubei was sucking drags off a clove cigarette; looking so far away he ached at the sight. This was an odd sort f relationship, he knew. He had Schizo, and Jubei had …Kanto? He thought that was his name anyways…

Was it friends with benefits? Or…? He really shouldn’t think on it too much. He fidgeted with his lip ring. This the part that always got to him, the post. He was always unsure as what to do.

 Snuggle?  Jubei didn’t really seem the type to snuggle? The first couple times were so…rough, desperate even…Then he took off. Those times were at Paranoia’s apartment. He had seemed so out of place. He was much too elegant for that dirty apartment.


This was the first time he had actually been in Jubei’s house. Jubei didn’t give him the chance to do “Sight seeing”. But now, in the aftermath, he could gaze about the place.

Just as extravagant as he expected, somewhere between a Victorian manor and the palace Versailles. Jubei brought his hand to his face. Tenderness. Lips pressed against his.  “Come here my little nephilim.” Jubei’s velvet voice seducing him. He was pressed against Jubei.

He felt Jubei’s heartbeat against his head. It was so…fast. It wasn’t as if he expected nothing at all, but ….it was so confusing.

His body was hard against his own. He could feel the bones digging in. He looked into Jubei’s face. Now that he was really looking, there were small imperfections.

For one, he had these shadows underneath his eyes. At first he thought that was all just makeup. ..But, no. It could be drugs, insomnia? It could be anything…There was a tracey of scars all over his arms, back and torso. They all looked very painful….

Not to mention the thinness. With clothing on, he was akin to a Tim Burton creation, Tall, elegant and imposing. But …Without he was painfully delicate. His collarbone jutted out, his ribs he could count, and his hipbones were practically handlebars.  His waist was scarcely the size of a child’s.  He thought the corsets were just impossibly tight, but no, he really was that tiny.

“I’m fine, Paranoia.”  Jubei seemed to be sensing his concern. “Zhere is more zhan me zhat meets zee eye.”



God, I hate weak women

You know the type that can't live without their man for a few days, or weeks. That stuff makes me sick to my stomach. I have a "friend" who spends half her time bitching about her husband, but then we's gone for a few weeks she goes on to say she doesn't know how she's going to live without him.

Uh..Yeah, lady, you have a kid. Shouldn't be concerned with him then with your husband that you bitch about anyways? ARGH, It just pisses me off so much. It wouldn't if she didn't spend most of her time bitching about him.

...But she does. She's so weak...Gah. I miss my boyfriend all the time,but I can still stand myself up, go into work, post worthwhile things, and do all sorts of stuff. My life doesn't stop because I can't see Shon.


Amazing shoot

I had an amazing shoot with JG Green in Baton Rouge. It took forever to get set up, but it was well worth the effort I think.